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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22851115">Nothing could kill me like you do</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViolettaValery/pseuds/ViolettaValery'>ViolettaValery</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alex Manes/Original Male Character, Angst, Blow Jobs, Getting Back Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Matchmaking, Michael Guerin/Maria Deluca (mentioned) - Freeform, Mutual Pining, Not Maria DeLuca Friendly, Post-Season/Series 01, Sad Crying Sex, Threesome - M/M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 17:55:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,164</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22851115</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViolettaValery/pseuds/ViolettaValery</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael has idea no why Alex's sort-of boyfriend offers him a threesome with the two of them, but as long as he gets to have Alex one last time, he doesn't really care about the details. </p><p>Spoiler alert: Alex is thinking the same thing.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Michael Guerin/Alex Manes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>154</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Nothing could kill me like you do</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So @ninswhimsy kind of threw this idea with me of: what if Michael and Alex had a threesome with another guy because both of them thought that was the only way they could be with each other, and my brain was like. Ooh, that's angsty. Was I supposed to NOT write it? </p><p>Title from Rita Ora's Poison. Many thanks to Nin for being my sounding board and supporting me all through writing this fic. Mostly unbeta'd and honestly I've reached the point where I'm just gonna post it, I refuse to be a perfectionist about it any longer.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You ever considered a threesome?” Daniel asks him as they sip drinks at the Wild Pony, a casual third date.</p><p>Alex stares at him. “What?” he asks, sure he’d misheard.</p><p>This thing between them is still tentative – they’ve only been on a couple of dates – but they’d hit it off surprisingly well. Part of the reason, Alex thinks, is because Daniel doesn’t give a flying fuck about what anyone thinks. He doesn’t care much for rules, including those unspoken rules that dictate the early stages of a relationship, and now that Alex is staring down several more years regulations and inviolable orders, someone who reminds him of his own rebelliousness at seventeen feels almost like a necessity.</p><p>And it’s been…<em>nice. </em>About as nice as it could be with someone who isn’t Guerin, all things considered. Before the dates, they’d had a nebulous few weeks of a fuck buddy arrangement, and Alex knows Daniel definitely saw the desperation with which he threw himself into it, the way he wanted to forget in the embrace of a warm body. Daniel taken it all completely in stride. Which is perhaps why, a few dates and a few drinks in, Alex had let it slip that he’s not completely over his ex-something. Which Daniel hadn’t seemed to mind, shrugging and pointing out that Alex had told him the obvious. “I’m willing to take a chance with you,” he’d said.</p><p>“A threesome,” he repeats himself now. “You ever thought about it?”</p><p>Alex looks at him skeptically, though perhaps he shouldn’t be surprised by the question coming from a guy sipping a pink cocktail in a bar of macho cowboys. Daniel had insisted Maria make it for him, which she had, rolling her eyes profusely but refraining from commenting on Alex’s choice of date. It was an unspoken agreement between them that she’d lost that right.</p><p>“No,” he says curtly, because there’s only one person he’s ever truly wanted, and he wanted him all to himself. Anyone else had only ever been a replacement. “Have you?”</p><p>“I’ve had a few,” Daniel admits, and Alex isn’t surprised by that either. “Wouldn’t be opposed to another,” he says meaningfully, glancing over at a guy leaning against the bar. Lanky, ragged jeans hugging his hips, a belt buckle, and Alex’s heart <em>hurts </em>just to look at him, and then he realizes it’s Michael himself and then it hurts more. “How about him?”</p><p>“You want to have a threesome with <em>him</em>?” Alex asks.</p><p>Daniel shrugs. “If you’re up for it, why not? He’s pretty hot.”</p><p>“That’s my ex,” he says, because Daniel deserves the truth.</p><p>“Huh.” Daniel shoots Guerin another appraising glance. “So that’s a dealbreaker for you, then?”</p><p>“It’s not for you?” he asks incredulously. </p><p>Daniel shrugs. “Nah. It’d be fun.”</p><p>Personally, Alex can’t fathom that level of nonchalance. Then again, that <em>is </em>what draws him to Daniel. He seems free, consistently unperturbed by emotional tangles in a way Alex longs for.</p><p>He knows this is a bad idea. It’s a <em>terrible </em>idea. The point is to move on from Michael, who moved on from him. Granted, his attempt to do so with Maria may have imploded, but it’d still sent a message loud and clear: Alex was too late. He’d missed his chance.</p><p>But god, he wants Michael. He’s never been able to resist him, and he’s definitely not strong enough to say no when the possibility is practically presenting itself on a platter.</p><p>“If you can convince him, I wouldn’t be opposed,” he says, and tries not to get his hopes up too much. There’s no reason to think why Michael would say yes.</p><p>“Oh, I can be <em>very </em>persuasive,” Daniel says, rising. He sidles up to Michael and catches his attention. Michael runs his gaze up and down as he listens to Daniel talk, first assessing, then pleased. Michael likes what he sees, and Alex feels another pang in his heart. It’s ridiculous, he thinks; Daniel is <em>his </em>date. Alex is the one Daniel will go home with. Why should he be jealous of Michael finding him attractive?</p><p>Daniel points to Alex, and Michael looks over. His surprise is swiftly masked, nonchalance plastered over with an ease clearly born of practice. He looks back at Daniel and, to Alex’s utter shock, nods with a grin and even buys Alex’s date another overpriced pink cocktail.</p><p>……</p><p>“So,” Michael drawls. “How do you two want me?”</p><p>A day after Alex’s new guy – Daniel, he’d said that’s what his name is – had come up to him and, to Michael’s utter shock, suggested a threesome, they’re at a neutral location: a hotel. Not a seedy motel, but not anything luxurious either (not that Roswell has many options in that department). It’s unremarkable. Nondescript, like the guy himself, Michael thinks.</p><p>“Well,” Daniel begins. “I think we’d both like to get our dicks inside you.”</p><p>Michael pretends to consider it for a long second.</p><p>“I’ve got no problem with that,” he says finally. “You good with that, Alex?”</p><p>Alex swallows. He looks – nervous. Michael’s got no idea what kind of arrangement Alex has with this guy, whether he’s done the threesome thing before. Maybe he’s nervous because three people makes for so many more variables to control, and Alex doesn’t like giving up control on the best of days. He should probably have spent a bit more time wondering why either of the other two people involved are into this in the first place, and he should definitely have questioned what the hell he’s doing here himself.</p><p>But honestly, Michael can’t bring himself to care. Alex is here, and he’s willing.</p><p>“Yeah, I’m good with that,” Alex says in an impenetrable tone.</p><p>“Well…” Michael says, pulling off his shirt in a practiced movement. The ladies had always loved the confidence with which he stripped himself, putting his body on display for them. Now, he sees Alex swallow at the first sight of his bare chest, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “Good thing I came prepared for the two of you, then. Literally.”</p><p>He’s gratified to hear Alex let out a breath, to know that he can still do <em>that</em> to Alex, at least, even if he has no more power over his heart.</p><p>He wastes no time in continuing, divesting himself of his pants, letting his belt buckle clatter to the floor along with them. He can feel Daniel’s gaze on him. Alex’s too.</p><p>“Like what you see?” he asks, his automatic refrain of practiced nonchalance.</p><p>“I think your mouth could be better occupied,” Daniel retorts.</p><p>“Your wish is my command,” Michael replies with a pointed glance back at Alex. He sees an expression cross Alex’s face – too fast for Michael to catch what it is exactly, but he knows Alex is affected. Good.</p><p>He drops to his knees in front of Daniel, deftly undoes his belt and zipper and pulls out his cock. Michael hasn’t spent a lot of time around dicks that weren’t Alex’s, such that it sometimes feels impossible to disentangle his attraction to men from his attraction to Alex. But fuck, he realizes as he stares at Daniel’s half-hard dick and feels his own twitch in anticipation, he likes cock. And he definitely likes this one.</p><p>It’s just, well. He likes Alex’s cock more.</p><p>He knows Alex is watching him as he leans forward and puts his lips on Daniel.</p><p>Smaller than Alex’s, it fits in his mouth comfortably, and it tastes right, too, that taste of sex and arousal that Michael likes on his tongue. It’s -– nice, in the same way that all the one-night stands he’s ever had were nice, including Maria. But it’s not Alex, whose gaze he’s preternaturally aware of in that moment.</p><p>Beggars can’t be choosers, he reminds himself as he gets to work.</p><p>He may not have sucked a lot of dicks, but he’s sucked Alex’s dick, a lot, and he likes to think he’s pretty good at that. He sucks on the tip, teasing the slit with his tongue. Takes it down deep (and after the first moment, its size feels all wrong to him). Adds a hint of teeth, because a guy who’s up for a threesome with his boyfriend’s ex seems like the type to enjoy a little more than the usual excitement. Daniel lets out a contented sound, hands tangling in Michael’s hair -</p><p>“That’s enough.” Alex is using the firm, in-control, Captain Manes voice that he only uses when he feels very<em> not </em>in control. “I think the agreement was that we’d both get our dicks in you.”</p><p>Michael pulls off Daniel’s dick with a spectacular pop and licks his lips as he rises.</p><p>“Don’t worry, darlin’. I’m yours if you want me.”</p><p>And Alex – Alex looks like he’s about to fall apart at that, and whatever desire Michael might have to crack Alex’s perfect façade and make him <em>feel </em>something evaporates immediately, the need to take care of Alex replacing it.  </p><p>He makes his way over to Alex.  </p><p>“Hey,” he says softly, putting his hand against Alex’s cheek. “It’s all right. I’m not going anywhere.”  </p><p>Alex just blinks those big, dark eyes at him, and Michael goes for broke.</p><p>He kisses Alex.</p><p>He’s always been good at this, making Alex respond to him. Alex spends an enormous amount of time resisting the things Michael makes him feel, but when Michael kisses him, that resistance disappears. Michael knows just how to kiss him to get Alex to part his lips so he can slip his tongue inside. He presses their bodies together, his hand curled into Alex’s hair, and Alex melts against him. Michael can feel his cock, hardening against him, and he puts his other hand under Alex’s shirt.</p><p>Alex gasps into his mouth, and Michael catches that small breath of air, kisses him deeper as his hand travels down to press against Alex’s cock, which fills completely against his hand.</p><p>Fuck, he wants it inside him.</p><p>He pulls away, dropping to his knees. “Gotta do it all nice and proper,” he explains. “Get your dick ready first.”</p><p>Alex doesn’t protest, just blinks those eyes of his.</p><p>Michael gets his mouth on Alex and – <em>yes. </em>He knows it’s ridiculous to even think he could recognize Alex’s dick anywhere, but the way it fills into his mouth feels so perfect, so <em>right, </em>like nothing else. He could do this forever, but he knows he’s only getting the one chance, so he has to make it good.</p><p>It’s muscle memory and instinct, the way he moves. He takes Alex all the way down, the way Alex likes it. He knows Alex has always felt guilty about the way it makes Michael choke and gasp for breath, eyes watering, but Michael revels in it. He waits patiently for when Alex’s composure breaks down enough for him to tangle a hand in his curls, allowing himself only a gentle pressure to guide Michael’s movements when Michael would rather he gripped him tight and used his mouth.</p><p>Michael obeys that gentle urging, the way Alex encourages him to pull off and tease at his tip (Alex had always had a masochistic streak of self-denial, Michael thinks). He lets Alex guide him again to take him down to the base, keep him still and swallow around his cock. He stays there for as long as he can, until his lungs burn for air, and then he pulls off, gasping for breath.</p><p>“Guerin,” Alex says, voice shattered. He tugs on Michael’s curls, still gentle even in his desperation. “Guerin, I want – I <em>need </em>– inside you.”</p><p> “How do you want me?” he asks between heaving breaths.</p><p>“On the bed,” Alex says in a cracked voice, and Michael lets him push him onto his hands and knees. He hadn’t lied – he’d come prepared – and now, as Alex parts his cheeks and rubs a finger over his opening, he swears.</p><p>“Fuck, Alex, get inside me.”</p><p>“I’m giving the orders here, Guerin,” Alex retorts, but he doesn’t say it in the kind of voice with which he gives orders. Michael would know.</p><p>He does sink into Michael, though, movement smooth and fluid, guided by the familiarity of how their bodies fit together, and fuck, it feels so right. Alex inside him has always felt so right, and nothing – no one – has ever been able to replace it.</p><p>Alex presses close against him, somehow managing to leave kisses on Michael’s shoulder blades as he starts to move, and Michael hangs his head, stifling a sob, realizing that this is the last time he’ll ever get to have this. To have Alex. He’d fucked up, run in a moment of desperation from anything that made him <em>feel, </em>and now Alex is lost to him forever, this whole pathetic situation the only way he could have him one last time. He closes his eyes, focusing on every sensation Alex makes him feel so he can commit it to memory, a companion for future lonely nights. He speeds up the movements of his own hand, stripping his cock like it’s a race, because for all he knows it might be, and if only Alex can at least give him one last orgasm, while he’s still inside him –</p><p>“Fuck, yeah, Alex, just like that. That’s perfect, yeah – nghh,” he rambles, the words spilling out of him moments before he spills over his hand. His body tightens around Alex, who still feels so perfect inside him that Michael thinks he only ever wants to come like this. Spent, he holds still, letting Alex continue to use him to bring himself to climax, relishing the way his oversensitive body multiplies each sensation tenfold, praying that Alex will last so he can have this for a few more perfect seconds.</p><p>Alex’s nose is pressed into the crook of his neck, now, his breathing harsh, beads of sweat rolling off him onto Michael’s skin. Then Michael hears a bitten-back sob as Alex thrusts one final time and comes inside him, and realizes, those are <em>tears </em>-</p><p>Alex is <em>crying. </em></p><p>He stills, collapsed against Michael, still inside him. But in a few seconds, he’ll pull out, and this will have been the last time Michael gets to feel this. His mind revolts at the very idea, and as the dread of it takes over he blurts out “Fuck, I love you. Don’t ever leave me.”  </p><p>And at that, Alex makes a sound, like a wounded animal, and does pull out. The bed shifts, Alex clearly moving to get off it.</p><p>“Hey, wait,” Michael calls after him. He shifts, barely catching Alex’s wrist in his post-coital slowness before Alex starts to turn away.</p><p>“Guerin, don’t, please,” Alex begs him. “Just let me go.”</p><p>“Tell me what’s wrong.”  </p><p>“Please don’t toy with me.”</p><p>He huffs in frustration. “I’m not toying with you. Tell me what’s wrong.”</p><p>“Don’t tell me you love me if you don’t mean it,” Alex says, and Michael feels an icy dagger in his heart, because – Alex thinks he doesn’t <em>love </em>him? “I know I gave you every reason to move on,” Alex continues, “so I have no right to be upset that you did. But please, don’t remind me of what I lost because I was too scared.”</p><p>“I meant it, Alex,” Michael says softly. “I always mean it.”</p><p>“You looked away,” Alex insists.</p><p>He meets Alex’s gaze head-on.</p><p>“No. I didn’t,” he says firmly.</p><p>At that, Alex starts sobbing, and then all Michael can do is hold him as Alex cries.</p><p>He looks around for Daniel – surely Alex wouldn’t want anyone else to witness him crying; Michael can count on his hand the number of times Alex has let himself be vulnerable with <em>him. </em></p><p>But Daniel is very obviously gone.   </p><p>Of course. Michael thinks. They’d completely forgotten he was there, wrapped up in their own world of longing and need, and no one likes being a third wheel.</p><p>………….</p><p> </p><p>They spot Daniel at the Wild Pony the next night. It’s their first and very tentative date, after a very long and thoroughly exhausting conversation, which Alex had insisted on having sober.</p><p>As Alex sidles up to the bar, Daniel’s hitting on Maria. Who is – flirting back. She notices Alex and her face tightens immediately.</p><p>Their friendship is long gone, though they’ve found a way to be civil with one another. After all, Alex doesn’t want to go drinking at Saturn’s Rings.</p><p>“I see you’re making it a trend to take an interest in my exes,” he remarks, and watches with some small satisfaction as Maria’s face contorts into consternation, then shock, then guilt.</p><p>“Alex, I had <em>no </em>idea,” she rushes to explain. He has no doubt she’s telling the truth, but it still takes his mind to all sorts of unpleasant memories. Things didn’t end for them too well the last time she’d used that explanation.</p><p>“Don’t worry,” he reassures her after a charged second. “This one isn’t the love of my life.”</p><p>He allows himself a second to watch the full meaning of his sentence sink and the guilt to blossom. He’s seen it on her face many times by now, but at some point, it stopped meaning anything.</p><p>Instead, he turns to Daniel, looking apologetic, but Daniel just meets his gaze with a smile.</p><p>“I see you two got your shit together, then,” he says. “I hoped you would.”</p><p>“You hoped?”</p><p>“Yeah. It’s obvious how gone on each other the two of you are. You just needed a little push.”</p><p>Alex stares. “You – knew?”</p><p>“Alex,” he says. “I have no idea how you kept it a secret for ten years, because it was pretty fucking obvious from day one how gone you still are on him. And I admit, at first I just thought I’d be interesting to get you two in the same room together and see what comes of it. Call it a quirk of mine. But then he was so eager the second I offered a threesome with the guy he’s supposedly over that I’d have to have been blind not to realize how smitten he is, and I realized I had a good deed I needed to do.”</p><p>“Thank you,” he says honestly.</p><p>“Hey,” Daniel says. “I got half a blowjob out of it, and it was a very good half-blowjob.”</p><p>Alex purses his lips. He still doesn’t like to think about Michael with other people, though he supposes in this case he has no right to be upset.</p><p>He leans close to Daniel.</p><p>“You did a good deed for me, so let me return the favor,” he says. His eyes flick to Maria. “Don’t get your hopes up with her. Chances are, she’ll stab you in the back the way she did to me.”  </p><p>Daniel nods, and as Alex makes his way back over to Michael, he sees Daniel pay for his drink and leave with a polite but strained smile. Maria watches him leave, then shoots Alex a glare.</p><p>Alex shrugs. The truth hurts.</p>
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